A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the
to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So,
how are you getting there?"

"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are
old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where
are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."

"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the
service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying
to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy
trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber
asked him about his trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one
TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to
first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28
year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel - it
great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the
finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized
and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to
personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure
enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my
hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."

"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?"