6 months to go before marriage...

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BabyV

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So I have 6 months to go before I get married. I suddenly feel uncertain of getting married.
My fiance and I have been together for 3+ years. He is the type that does not get the fuss and planning of a wedding - he would prefer skip the ceremony and stuff. I'm similar in that I don't want anything fancy either (we agreed on a city hall wedding and a reception for close family/friends only).
The thing is when I mention that the date is getting closer and we should start looking into the more complex stuff (finding housing, financials, etc.) he seems not to care much about it - as if it would all happen by itself "we'll look into it later", "there's still time", "why the rush?". I don't know exactly what to do to move this along... we both still live with our parents and we will have to move out soon.
Another thing is he doesn't appear at all excited about this. This past weekend we were in the mall and I passed by this store that was selling prom dresses, and I say to him "I can't wait to wear my wedding gown when we get married" and he seemed a bit aloof... as in not all there or paying attention. I was a bit distraught afterwards and I don't know what to do. I get the feeling he's not at all exciting about marrying me or doesn't want to get married at all! Which makes me think why did he ask me to marry him in the first place? (we have been engaged since August 2007).

I need some kind words to help me out...
 
I hate to say it, but a lot of guys get overwhelmed by stuff like weddings. (I get overwhelmed just by moving to a new location, ask my wife.) He may really be exited. I wouldn't look too much into this yet.
 
Congratulations. My husband spent the months before our wedding laughing at my excitement but wanted to marry me very much which he showed me at the wedding. Whether it may just be a male thing I recommend talking it over with him, find out if he still feels the same way definitely do it before you marry him. Better to know now.
 
I think he is just being moody because you did not invite all of us and won't let him do shots at the bar.
 
I think no straight guy is going to be too excited about picking out your dress with you, etc. (until he sees you in it! Then it's a whole different story!). I just wouldn't read too much into it...decide what tasks you really need him to help with (invitation list? live music?) and let him be in charge of those things. The rest, you rely on your family and friends for!

The wedding day itself is lovely and romantic, but it goes by in a *blur*. I barely remember any of it, other than when I look at pics. As long as you're marrying someone whom you want to spend your life with, you're in great shape.

Congratulations! What a wonderful time in your life.
 
Firstly, thank you all for your guidance! I spoke to him. He tells me that he doesn't care too much about details at all. Basically, he just wants to get right to the point and be married and fast forward/skip everything else. At one point he mentioned what Drifa said - to just tell him what needs to be done on his part.
I feel loads better now... :)
 
diGriz said:
I think he is just being moody because you did not invite all of us and won't let him do shots at the bar.
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You didn't get the invite? :noidea: Dan, Clubby and I were going to swing by in the fully stocked limo and pick you up for the pre-party.....:hmmmm2:...I guess we don't have to do that.....:ohwell:
 
BabyV said:
Firstly, thank you all for your guidance! I spoke to him. He tells me that he doesn't care too much about details at all. That's marriage, you'll be doing many details....Basically, he just wants to get right to the point (the wedding night)and be married and fast forward/skip everything else (the honeymoon). At one point he mentioned what Drifa said - to just tell him what needs to be done on his part.He'll do his part and show up ;)
I feel loads better now... :)
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I'm glad you feel better, rest up, you'll be handling many details. I wouldn't hold it against him, it's all in the genes. If he didn't act this way, I'd be concerned......it means he loves you with all his heart and has faith in all you do and in all your judgement....he trusts and loves you so much that all he needs to do is show up.:)

I hope you have clued him into the two most important words in a marriage......."Yes, Dear".....that's all he needs to know, those 2 words...."Yes, Dear"...true marital bliss.....;)


May I make a suggestion for your wedding gift to your groom? A remote control with a bungie cord attached to his wrist, a bottle of maker's mark and a wide screen tv.:)





All kidding aside, I wish you luck and don't worry about the pre-wedding jitters....it will all be fine.:) Good luck.:)
 
Where are you having the reception?
 
precocious said:
You didn't get the invite? :noidea: Dan, Clubby and I were going to swing by in the fully stocked limo and pick you up for the pre-party.....:hmmmm2:...I guess we don't have to do that.....:ohwell:
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:cocktail: other people's weddings are SO much fun :cocktail:
 
Thanks precocious - that is great advice about the remote control and the wide screen tv! Haha!
We're Chinese, so our reception is basically a huge banquet for our guests. It will be held in Flushing, New York in October.
I actually haven't sent out the invitations yet... I figured the 3 month prior to the date would be sufficient notice for the guests. :)
 
I know Flushing very well. I've lived in several places surrounding Flushing years back. MOF my wedding pics were taken at Flushing Meadow at the Unisphere and our reception was at the Douglaston Manor on the golf course.
 
precocious said:
I know Flushing very well. I've lived in several places surrounding Flushing years back. MOF my wedding pics were taken at Flushing Meadow at the Unisphere and our reception was at the Douglaston Manor on the golf course.
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Unisphere? Let's see. NY Worlds Fair was 1964 ... 2008 less 1964 equals 44 years ... holy kamoly, Preco, you've been married longer than most spoofee members have been alive!
 
monkfish said:
Unisphere? Let's see. NY Worlds Fair was 1964 ... 2008 less 1964 equals 44 years ... holy kamoly, Preco, you've been married longer than most spoofee members have been alive!
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:secret: The Unisphere is still standing today......:rolleyes:...I didn't say the pics were taken during the World's Fair :doh:

:convinced: Although it feels like I've been married a lot longer than 44 years though.....:ohwell:
 
BabyV said:
I figured the 3 month prior to the date would be sufficient notice for the guests. :)
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Three months is sufficient enough time for us to find out where it is and crash it.
 
diGriz said:
Three months is sufficient enough time for us to find out where it is and crash it.
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Haha! It will be a small wedding with 140 guests, and there will definitely be plenty of food going around. It'll be great - I've hired a DJ & emcee to take care of the floor and all the spoofee dancers/crashers. :)
 
Drifa said:
I think no straight guy is going to be too excited about picking out your dress with you, etc. (until he sees you in it! Then it's a whole different story!). I just wouldn't read too much into it...decide what tasks you really need him to help with (invitation list? live music?) and let him be in charge of those things. The rest, you rely on your family and friends for!

The wedding day itself is lovely and romantic, but it goes by in a *blur*. I barely remember any of it, other than when I look at pics. As long as you're marrying someone whom you want to spend your life with, you're in great shape.

Congratulations! What a wonderful time in your life.
Click to expand...
I absolutely agree - my hubby of nearly 7 years was the same way: just the bare basics: where, when, who to invite and the songs we would play. It's TOTALLY YOURday for sure - enjoy this time and don't worry so much about his jitters or lack of interest. It will be so much less stressful if you plan the details, as "unromantic" as that sounds. Again, as long as you're marrying someone you can't imagine life without, all this pomp and circumstance should NEVER matter 5 years from now. BTW, I totally understand your concerns as my hubby, IMHO, kinda acted the same way. Try not to stress hun - it really doesn't matter HOW it gets done, as long as it does and you two are happy together. That's what really counts. Good luck and congratulations! May you have many happy, healthy years together! :hug: Cheers!:beer_yum:
 
Thanks ladymez. I've gotten that feeling because I have coworkers/friends who were telling me how it was so easy to plan, their man helped out in the planning, etc. and that was what made me start wondering.
I'm glad that isn't always the case and I'm glad I have spoofeers who have gone down the road to share their experiences with me :)
 
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