spazntwitch

MSPRISSYSMOM

MSPRISSYSMOM

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These are saving idiots from themselves:

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/ 4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two....'
We haven't used Sears repair since.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, AL

IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they're VOTING and they REPRODUCE!

Some people are alive because it's illegal to KILL them........
 
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Would have posted more! Ran out of rum.. woop room, whoops room..

Trying to send a pm? You're not on my friends?
 
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from the sounds of things they have to be men am i right or not.
 
GREAT! Thanks for posting. Got some good chuckles.
 
To quote my favorite boss...."Good help is hard to find"

In college I went to the ATM and withdrew $10, pulled right next door to the Wendy's drive thru and ordered my favorite value meal. It came to $3.25....so I handed the cashier the 10 and a quarter....she handed me back $4. I said, "Hold on, you shorted me $3...." She swore she didn't.....I said "I just went to the ATM right there, here is my receipt for the $10 I just gave you......" She still swore she was giving me the correct change. I said "I am not moving until you give me my $3." (did I mention it was lunchtime?) The manager came and they started frantically counting down the drawer - and he said the drawer wasnt short (looking back, I doubt they really counted it). I said - "Look at my order and look at the change she is trying to give me....I would had to have paid with a $7 bill.........." They still wouldnt give me my $3 and told me to call at closing when the re-counted the drawer......I did........no $3..................

..that is because she put it in her pocket! Always count your change - I know far too many people who will short change the customers a dollar or two, especially during busy times, and pocket it.....


Sorry I guess this isnt really funny....but it sparked the memory
 
These are pretty good ones! Thanks for the laugh!
 
it amazes me how many cashiers are baffled by the idea of giving $5.25 for something that is $4.25. thanks MSPRISSYSMOM!
 
Wait? This was really funny, but why was it named Spazntwitch?

My husband had to fly with a heart monitor which gave all kinds of issue with Security. He couldn't walk through the metal detector and had to be "processed" by hand (no pun intended) every time. At one point they had him hold out his hands and swabbed them. When I asked what that was for, (germs?) I was told they were checking for explosives. I was like "Explosives? I hope not. I'm sitting next to him."

...The guy just looked at me.


No sense of humor.

Guess this doesn't really fit here, but like Kma said it brought up the memory.
 
I am one of those people that will give you .........example: $21.16 if my bill is $15.66

It always amazes me how I baffle people and thank g-d the register can figure it out.
 
cybermom said:
Wait? This was really funny, but why was it named Spazntwitch? ...
Click to expand...

This is a safeguard thread listing.

By naming a Mod in the title, the thread will not get deleted and precocious will not think she "is seeing things".
 
It was Friday night, and forgot where I was, have so many pages open. Just woke up and getting a whole new laugh, Okay, it was too long to send a PM and didn't know what else to call it, I guess I'm blonde, and resemble all the above...my bad.
 
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