tigger_too_wooh
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:shhh:
The Spoofers
adapted from The Sneetches, by Dr. Seuss
Now, the Star-Banner Spoofers had banners with stars.
The No-Banner Spoofers had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Banner Spoofers
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Spoof on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the No-Banner sort!”
And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.
When the Star-Banner children went out to play ball,
Could a No-Banner get in the game? Not at all.
You only could play if your banners had stars
And the No-Banner children had none upon thars.
When the Star Banner Spoofers had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the No-Banner Spoofers
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that’s how they treated them year after year.
Then ONE day, it seems while the No-Banner Spoofers
Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their banners had stars,
A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!
“My friends”, he announced in a voice clear and clean,
“My name is Sylvester ModMonkey ModBean.
And I’ve heard of Your troubles. I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
But I can fix that, I’m the Fix-It-Up Chappie.
I’ve come here to help you.
I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work with great speed.
And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!”
Then, quickly, Sylvester ModMonkey ModBean
Put together a very peculiar machine.
And he said, “You want banners like a Star-Belly Spoof?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”
“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!”
So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared.
And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked.
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the No-Banner Spoofers popped out, they had stars!
They actually did. They had stars upon thars!
Then they yelled at the ones who had stars at the start,
“We’re still the best Spoofers and they are the worst.
But now, how in the world will we know”, they all frowned,
“If which kind is what, or the other way round?”
Then up came ModBean with a very sly wink.
And he said, “Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don’t know who’s who. That is perfectly true.
But come with me, friends. Do you know what I’ll do?
I’ll make you, again, the best Spoofers on the beaches.
And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”
“Banner stars are no longer in style”, said ModBean.
“What you need is a trip through my Banner Star-Off Machine.
This wondrous contraption will take OFF your stars
so you won’t look like Spoofers that have them on thars.”
And that handy machine working very precisely
Removed all the stars from their banners quite nicely.
Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about.
And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout,
“We know who is who! Now there Isn’t a doubt.
The best kind of Spoofers are Spoofers without!”
Then, of course, those with Banner stars got all frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star was frightfully bad.
Then, of course, old Sylvester ModMonkey ModBean
invited THEM into his Banner Star-Off Machine.
Then, of course from THEN on, as you probably guess,
Things really got into a horrible mess.
All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,
The Fix-It-Up Chappie kept fixing up Spoofers.
Off again! On again! In again! Out again!
Through the machines they raced round and about again,
Changing their banners every minute or two. They kept paying money.
They kept running through until the No-Banner nor the Star-Banner knew
Whether this one was that one or that one was this one. Or which one
Was what one or what one was who.
Then, when every last cent of their money was spent,
The Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up. And he went.
And he laughed as he drove In his car around a roof,
“They never will learn. No. You can’t Teach a Spoof!”
But ModBean was quite wrong. I’m quite happy to say.
That the Spoofers got really quite smart on that day.
The day they decided that Spoofers are Spoofers.
And no kind of Spoofer is the best on the beaches.
That day, all the Spoofers forgot about stars and whether
They had one, or not, upon thars.
ound:
doh: What ever made me think this might be a Democracy :stupido2