Hello All - I'm new here and this is my first thread - ever..anywhere. I'm not really sure what I'm doing or if I'm doing it right, but I just need to ask someone who's impartial what the heck I'm supposed to do.
Situation: I have been living in San Diego for 5 years now, and have been w/ my fiance for 2.5 of those years. I have spent holidays w/ both his family (in SD) and mine (in OR) over the past years. This last month, he surprised me w/ an amazing vacation for my birthday - and we spoiled ourselves rotten. Since it was such a big trip, we decided not to travel for the holidays and instead visit up north when the weather is better - more towards summer. Well, my mother decided that was not good enough and bought me a ticket to Oregon w/o even consulting me.
I am furious about this for three reasons: #1, she didn't even stop to think that maybe (even though he is not my husband yet) I would want my fiance to go w/ me...and maybe there was a reason we've decided not to go up north. #2, last year, during the holidays, my fiance and I went up north and my entire family got into a massive fight and there is no way I want to face that, or the possibility of that, again w/o my man. #3, I have an entire life down here, including an odd little family, plans, work, etc. The Friday she wants me to go up there is the Friday of my work Christmas party, and if I don't go, I will be missing a VERY big opportunity to network/socialize w/ my potential new boss (i'm trying for a promotion).
Anyway...I know my mother's intentions were good, but this is rediculous. I am an adult and as such, I make my own holiday plans. But I feel so guilty. I have no idea how to approach my mom and let her know that I'm not coming and she just wasted $350.00 on a plane ticket I can't use. The ticket is transferrable for the next year, but it's the emotional part I'm terrified of...I have NO idea how to approach this. I just can't believe she put me in the situation. Any ideas? Anybody?
Situation: I have been living in San Diego for 5 years now, and have been w/ my fiance for 2.5 of those years. I have spent holidays w/ both his family (in SD) and mine (in OR) over the past years. This last month, he surprised me w/ an amazing vacation for my birthday - and we spoiled ourselves rotten. Since it was such a big trip, we decided not to travel for the holidays and instead visit up north when the weather is better - more towards summer. Well, my mother decided that was not good enough and bought me a ticket to Oregon w/o even consulting me.
I am furious about this for three reasons: #1, she didn't even stop to think that maybe (even though he is not my husband yet) I would want my fiance to go w/ me...and maybe there was a reason we've decided not to go up north. #2, last year, during the holidays, my fiance and I went up north and my entire family got into a massive fight and there is no way I want to face that, or the possibility of that, again w/o my man. #3, I have an entire life down here, including an odd little family, plans, work, etc. The Friday she wants me to go up there is the Friday of my work Christmas party, and if I don't go, I will be missing a VERY big opportunity to network/socialize w/ my potential new boss (i'm trying for a promotion).
Anyway...I know my mother's intentions were good, but this is rediculous. I am an adult and as such, I make my own holiday plans. But I feel so guilty. I have no idea how to approach my mom and let her know that I'm not coming and she just wasted $350.00 on a plane ticket I can't use. The ticket is transferrable for the next year, but it's the emotional part I'm terrified of...I have NO idea how to approach this. I just can't believe she put me in the situation. Any ideas? Anybody?
