Anyone have/had a naughty toddler?

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jjgailey

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My husband and I having been battling it out with our almost 3-year old daughter for months now, we've tried everything in the book and are feeling very helpless lately. Our toddler has been beyond bad...but VERY naughty doing things I never imagined someone so little could do! PLEASE tell me we aren't the only ones going through this....and what do you do???

What are some VERY bad things your toddler has done? Maybe hearing some other stories would help me know we're not the only ones, and maybe one of you has had a toddler do something worse (the would really make me feel better ;)

Also...what do you do? We tried every kind of discipline to doing nothing at all and ignoring it! (by the way, I don't think Super Nanny works all that well :)
 
I have a 2 year old and of course she is going through the "terrible twos". The most effective discipline I have had with her is to make her sit on the couch for time out. I make her sit there for 1 minute per year of life (ie for 2 minutes). It just about kills her to sit still for two minutes. It has been very effective in controlling the bad behavior.
 
Instead of punishing, try distracting her and get her excited about doing something positive. Even if she doesn't 'come' at first, play along and ignore the tantrum and just continue to have 'fun'...whether it be coloring, dancing, singing, making cookies or playing with a toy. (make sure she knows you're having 'fun'.)

Also...the all important nap! There's a lot to be said for toddlers getting enough sleep. A lack of a nap can turn a darling :angel: into a devil :evil:

And...always present a united front. If you and hubby disagree or take sides with the child against one another in front of her....you're creating an even bigger monster later... You and Hubby always stick up for each other...you can disagree later in private ;)

Good luck... :hmm: I recall you moved a few months ago..is this when the naughtiness started to happen? Just a thought...and they don't call it terrible 2's for nothing...;)
 
Speaking of nap time...that's the hardest part of the day, I spend 2 hours everyday trying to get her to take a 1 hour nap. I tried keeping her up to see if that would make her tired more, but that was just worse. It's hard because I also have a 1-year old who needs my attention too. Any suggestions? Also, she is constantly taking off all her clothes and using the bathroom everywhere (usually this is during nap time)!:verysad: I've tried everything from onesies, taping the diaper, using suspenders and belts to keep those clothes on but nothing has worked so far), and we're also taking a "break" on potty training because she told me she "wants to be a baby and wear diapers" (I don't know if that is because her sister does or not), and refuses to use the potty, but she hates yucky diapers. Any suggestions?

I'd say this started about a year ago, around 20 months, its just gotten worse. She's always been a very strong-willed, and VERY active little girl, always going and going and going.
 
Poker face. Use your poker face (even if it kills you). She wants to disrobe...let her...show her you are unaffected. (When she gets chilly, she'll get dressed). She pees/poos, just clean it like you'd clean a spill, "oh well"...no major event.... When she sees that she cannot yank your chain when she wishes....she'll move on to something else.

Nap time...leave her in her room. No yelling or arguing....'you go in there, you stay in there, end of story'...she'll tire...eventually. (When my DD gives me a 'hard time' I tell her when she wakes up we're going to do this xyz, so take your nap so we can do xyz. A little fuss, but she usually naps.)

Poker face, don't let her see you get excited ;) Don't let your ruffled feathers show. (Of course you need to do this when you are not expecting company or have somewhere to go...LOL )
 
I agree with Preco. I had a hard time w/ naps as well, but I put up a babygate to my little ones room, so the door would be open but she couldn't get out, read her a quick book then said "nap time" at first she would get up and go to the door and throw things but I just kept cleaning right on like I wasn't bothered and then one day (after about a week) she laid right down and went to sleep.

My little one is doing a lot that is frustrating but I think that she is trying to express herself somewhat. She mimics a lot that we do and then will attempt to do things on her own. Like when I clean the glass for example, she'll go get a kleenex and wipe the tables, when that bores her she will "spill" her juice on the table and say "uh-oh" then wipe it up and say "all clean." of course it's not all clean and it's sticky now but I've just started giving her a small spray bottle with water in it, at least this isn't sticky and maybe one day she won't mind cleaning so much, lol.
 
My daughter will be three on Thursday. The most effective punishment with her is taking things she likes away. She loses her Barbies or her favorite movie, or whatever, for the day. Any longer than that and the punishment kind of loses it's meaning for her. If she is throwing one her forever-long fits, I put her in her room on her bed and she stays until she's done. Then I talk to her about why she is in there-blah, blah, blah.

For naps, I have kinda given up on those most days. Sometimes I force it if she's really tired. Sometimes I plan trips out so we'll be driving home at the time she gets sleepy-she'll still fall asleep in the car. A lot of times she falls asleep when we go to pick her brother up from school.

I'm really curious what your child is doing. Mainly because my kids have always been a handful and I wonder what others consider naughty. Mine seem to do things that my friends' kids never do!
 
I always liked the old little rascals way of handling "rotten kids"

First you get a little "gorilla glue", pour a little in a corner, sit the kid down and you're good to go.
 
I agree with Preco - I have used my "Poker Face." The more I gave attention to the matter (yelling, spanking, etc) the worse it got. I used this style when Kadin started to show signs of throwing tantrums. There was one time I just stepped over him and kept going - left him in the living room. He was done in seconds. It was one of the hardest things to do - but he doesnt do it anymore. That is really all I have dealt with so far - he was 2 in July.

You said that your daughter said that she wants to wear diapers like her sibling.....she might be doing all this for attention. If you are busy scolding her, or helping her lay down for a nap or cleaning up her messes - she still has your attention even if it is the bad kind.
 
elibear said:
I'm really curious what your child is doing. Mainly because my kids have always been a handful and I wonder what others consider naughty. Mine seem to do things that my friends' kids never do!
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I don't have any friends/family who are having or have had problems like I am having either. I think the biggest problem is the taking the diaper off during nap time issues, where if she does go #2, she puts it everywhere-from the walls, to the bed, to the carpet (we have new carpet too :verysad: , and it has been ruining everything)

She also seems to find things that we keep hiding from her, pens mostly and coloring everywhere (this seems to be a normal toddler thing). She constantly tells me "no" and runs away from me, laughs at me if I try to punish or even spank her, pushes around her little sister (but the next minute she's loving on her), hurting our cats, throwing things & breaking things, kicking, hitting and spitting at me when she's in trouble, runs away from us in public places (and into roads). The main things is she just doesn't listen to me, my husband has better luck and she takes him more seriously. But for me, it's like she's a teenager. I don't know if this is because I'm home with her all day or not.

She does like the negative attention, as someone said, that is why the punishing thing isn't working for us. She's not a totally bad child, because she can be very loving, affectionate and darn cute, it's just that most of the time she's being bad.

Another thing we are wondering...is ADD heridtary (spell?) and how young can they get it? I ask because my husband has had ADD all his life, still does as an adult. He struggled through school, never went to college and got into a lot of trouble as a teen mainly because of being bored and not being able to focus. He's a successful business man now, but it struggle as a child, his main problem now is just not being able to finish one project before starting another and sitting still (he's always going and going, and you know the guy at church who is always shaking the whole pew b/c he won't stop bouncing his leg...that's my husband!) Could this be an early beginning to ADD?
 
Talk to your pediatrician, it may be ADHD. I feel for you. How old is the younger one? (Did this start about that time/soon after?)

The poop on the walls and such would make me crazy....but you can't get crazy over it. Poop on the walls will get attention and it seems that's what she wants....any kind she can get.

The open gate on the bedroom (especially during nap time) will at least confine the mess, then poker face the clean up. Sing hi-ho, hi-ho and act like it doesn't bother you while you ignore her. She wants to see you get excited. Then have ice cream (or her favorite desert)....when she wants some...oh well...'little girls who put their poo on the walls, don't get any...maybe tomorrow after your nap and you're good, you can have some with me too"...and don't give in.

Take deep breaths, this too shall pass.....
 
The gate does seem to work some...except when I accidently fell asleep before she did the other day...and well, sure enough...poop everywhere!! Yuck!! It is enough to drive someone crazy...but lately I haven't done anything, just clean it up because it makes me so upset I just can't even say or do anything. But, as long as I check on her every 10 minutes it's usually okay, but unfortunately it doesn't stop her from being bad. I remember when we were so excited about her being in a toddler bed (at about 18 months), now I wish they made cribs toddlers can't get out of!

I have thought about talking to my doctor about this, I just don't want them to encourage meds, especially this young, I saw the effects they caused my brother and it was bad. I'm really hoping and praying it's a "phase" since she atleast obeys me husband.

And she does LOVE ice-cream, hmmm...guess I'll have to give into my diet for the good cause of teaching her a lesson! :teeth:
 
jjgailey don't fret too much over it now. All children go thru stages of curiosity, some maybe more than others. My 17 yr old went thru problems for many yrs, but my 16 yr old was a perfect child. Spanking will do no good, sounds like your child is too young for counseling, timeout may work, but just try to talk to her. You would be surprised how much just talking to your kids like they were adults helps them, makes them feel grown-up. Let us know if everything works out.
 
Please, please, please, don't think about meds for a child her age! They really do just go through phases. Though it may seem like it's lasting forever, it will surely pass. I did have a friend who's child did the poop-smearing thing a few times. It was a long time ago though, and I don't remember what she did about it.

I guess I'm just used to having crazy kids, because none of that sounds too strange to me! Let's see, my shelves are bolted to the walls because my kids are climbers and I don't want them getting killed, both of them have drawn many murals on my walls. Once, when I was in the bathroom, my daughter got out the pancake mix and dumped it out all over the carpet-another time it was baby powder all over the bathroom. The other day, as she was climbing up the shelves in the pantry, she had a pee accident all over the place (nice). When we were walking home from the playground the other day she got ahead of me-I yelled for her to stop at the side of the road. She turned around and looked at me and then proceeded to run across the road. She runs from me in stores. This has gotten better over time, but I swear I can't get a thing done unless she's strapped into a buggy. Her new thing is, when she is mad she spits. She will just shut down sometimes and not move, like when she doesn't want to leave the house and we need to go. She'll just stand there and not move so I either have to carry her, or I just walk out of the house and she freaks out and follows. Oh, and she's not even three and she can push her brother's buttons really well. Those two fight like crazy.

Anyway, it's a real random list, but there is always something going on with my kiddos. They keep me on my toes. But I swear, they are wonderful most of the time...okay, mostly when they're alseep.:tongue:

Oh, and I have talked to my pediatrician about it many times. She said it's a good thing when they are into things a lot. Something about curiosity, and that she'd worry more if they weren't doing those things.

Okay, I just re-read that. Keep in mind I'm posting at 3 a.m., and forgive my rambling. I could just go on and on about the things my kids do that drive me crazy...
 
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have you tried just asking her why she doesn't want to listen to mommy and why she listens to daddy? or since she listens to daddy, maybe he can ask her why.

When I was little and wanted to go back to diapers and bottles because my brother came along and grabbed all the attention. She could just want the attention from you and this is how she does it. You do spend most of your time cleaning up after her and chasing her.. =/. I'm sorry about your walls
 
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your DD.It can be real hard on a SAHM,it always seems like they listen and respect the working parent more.(speaking from personal experience)I am beyond the toddler years and am now going into the wonderful teenage years with my own 2 girls:verysad:

I agree that nap time is VERY important for her(as well as you lol)what I did with my friends DD when I babysat her and she started giving me a hard time about it was,instead of calling it NAP time I refered to it as QUIET time,I would let her pick her quiet time spot(within reason)told her she didn't HAVE to sleep but she did have to lay or sit in that quiet spot and no talking was allowed,she would listen to a book on tape and follow along in the book and ALWAYS fell asleep before the book was done.This gave me time to either have my lnch or clean up our playtime activities.
As far as her acting out,have you tried praising her for good behavior?If it's attention she's trying to get then you need to let her know that good actions and behavior will get her attention not the bad,so when she behaves well or follows your instruction you can realy play up how proud of her you are and that ,that is the bahavior you want to see.Best of luck!
 
thank you for all the advice!

I took about a hour this morning to spend one-on-one time with my daughter (lela) while my mom watched my youngest. She does really well when it's just me and her and we do something like color or go shopping (her favorites, like her mommy). But I did notice that even when it was just me and her this morning, she still did the normal acting out (like normal toddlers) and when she was mad, she pushed me away and didn't want my attention.

We have tried the praising thing ever since she was a baby, and she loves it because we sing and dance and clap and tell her what a good girl she was.

When my youngest fell and hit her head this morning, Lela took advantage of the time I was spending with her to get her to stop crying and went into the bathroom, took the washcloths (about 8 of them) out of the cabinet, put them in the toliet and used the plunger to try to plunge them all down the toliet....and then she flushed the toliet, needless to say I spent a lot of time cleaning up water from the floor. I don't know how a child can manage to do that much damage within like 2 minutes, but with Lela it is possible.

Last night she was helping me make the bed and she snuck into our bathroom and got my lipstick out and "colored" with it. Thankfully, I noticed she was missing before she could do to much damage. :)

As I am emailing this, I have put her in her room for a nap w/a gate at the door, and she keeps opening the door and slamming it and screaming at me. I'm just ignoring it right now and hoping that she doesn't wake her sister up from her nap.

What a day....whew, I'm exhausted! And I have a bunch of company coming over for dinner in 3 hours, gonna go make 10 gallons of chili...
 
well wen my two year old gets out of hand i have a three stage disiplinary action. warn them, time out them or take away a toy....simple
 
I wish that worked for me, it does for my husband though...she's just laughs at me. :(
 
shani said:
well wen my two year old gets out of hand i have a three stage disiplinary action. warn them, time out them or take away a toy....simple
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Shani, are you ribbing us again......before it was your 'younger cousin' and it was you...now it's your '2 yo'....is it you? Are you the '2 year old' getting her toy taken away and time-outs? :rolleyes:

Can't pull the sheep over my head....:rolleyes:....twice....:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
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