Dumb Things People Say

K Ma

K Ma

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This thread is being started for those who state the painfully obvious & for us that just can't believe some of the dumb things people say.

Shall I go first? Ok, if you insist............


My hair is naturally curly but I straighten it.
Kadin's hair gets some curl when it gets long and the other day someone asked me where he gets his curly hair from. I said "Well, his Dad has some curl when his hair gets long, and my hair is naturally curly; so it could be from either of us."

This person looks at me and seriously asks "Do you straighten your hair?"

:confused:
 
:bigok: this is a great idea, I've got a ton! My family has been saying dumb things for years.

My cousin and I were talking about my taking a trip to Italy. I said that I wanted to visit Rome. She actually asked "what language do they speak in Rome? Romanian?"

When I told my aunt I was a certified Scuba diver she gave me a horrified look and asked "you mean in water?"
I looked at her and nodded and continued with my story about how deep I dove and how long I was under. She then asked "how do you breathe? Can you hold your breath for that long?"
I couldn't resist..."no aunt cath, I'm just kidding. They strap an airtank to my back and throw me out of a helicopter."
Her eyes widened and asked "are you serious?! without a parachute?"

While on a family vacation, I was sitting next to that same aunt during lunch. I'd ordered a soda and decided to see if I could play with her mind.
me: hey do you know why straws rise in carbonation?
her: no! how?
me: well its because the male bubbles want to impress the female bubbles with their strength, so they're lifting the straw. Look, you can see them attached to the straw.
her: are you serious?
me: yep.
and she actually believed me:rofl:

During some physics class my professor said "we take have the molecules and put them on this side, the other half go on the other side." He then wrote n/2 on each side of the box (n being the number of molecules). This ditz in the class asked "why is it divided by 2?":doh:

My last year of college, I was in the lounge studying (read: playing Spider on my laptop) and overheard some freshman talking about a bottle of wine with a cork that they bought.
"how do we open it?"
"i don't know"
"does anyone have something to get the cork out?"
"is there even a way to get a cork out of a bottle? I mean you can't get the ship out, this is the same principle."

Oh and a dumb thing someone DID...the campus was flooded after something like 12 straight days of rain. Campus Safety blocked off part of the road because there was a bridge that not only was flooded but collapsed due all the water. One kid that was in my class decided that if he couldn't drive across the bridge, he could walk/swim through. (I should note that the water was about 15 feet deep in some places and was RUSHING.) He didn't get very far and was stuck in a tree holding on for dear life for at least 3 hours before rescue workers could get to him. :rofl:

ok, thats it for now.
 
OMG!!!!!!!!! :rofl:
You are a definite contributor to this thread!!! :bigok:

I would love to meet and hang out with your aunt. I am just thinking of millions of things to mess with her head! lol Is she the parent of the cousin you mentioned?
 
We have plenty of parties...you're welcome to any of them! It is too much fun to mess with my aunt's head.
That aunt isn't the mom of that cousin, but my cousin's mom is sisters with that aunt. (did that make any sense?)
 
Hot Water Heater


WHY would you need a device to heat hot water?
 
Patients wait in the exam room, here comes the Doctor or Nurse, and they ask the patiend "How are you feeling today Mr/Mrs Whoever?" The patient usually replies "I'm doing great/fine/okay." Well what the hell? If you are doing great, why are you in my office?!?!?! :rofl:

Come on people make your Health Care Provider WORK for their money! Tell them "Look Doc, I feel like the backside of a donkey's ass!" Or, "Hey now look here, I am sick, and I demand a cure!" Or, "Warm that stethoscope up you numbnut before you stick that ice cube on my chest!" TELL US SOMETHING about being ill! We can't function without some insurance code rummaging through our heads!! Remember, you all are paying medical insurance payments out the whazoooooo!! Give the office something to work on and worry over! :wave: :) We deserve it!!:)
 
I once was behind a little old man in the post office who brought his book of stamps back because they wouldn't stick, and the preforation wasn't right because he had to cut them apart.

"Sir, they're peel and stick now.":druel:

..but if you're out there little old man-I'm laughing with you not at you. :yo: We've all been that little old man at some point in our life!

My 12 year old neice was here for 2 weeks and when her mom asked me how she was doing with the boys I was horrified!
"Boys! What boys?! We haven't let her near any boys!" (How could she think I'd encourage her 12 year old w/boys?????!):mad:

Her Mother-

"...uh......YOUR boys?....":doh:
 
i think this qualifies...

i was talking to the gym owner where i work out, about the running club in the area and how we don't want to "steal" their members, but it'd be nice to help them migrate to our running club. anyway, then he walked away. a few minutes later he came up and said, "i don't know if you heard, but the other club broke in two." i said, "oh wow, i didn't know. why do you think it happened?" he replied, "it looks like it was an insider." i smiled and said, "well, maybe we'll get some of those members!"

about 20 minutes later it dawned on me. he said "the other club (meaning the other gym property) got broken into"... and here i was asking, "why?" and smiling about it, instead of saying "wow, that sucks, i'm really sorry" :doh:
 
When I was younger, so much younger than today (this was in 1967) ...
my parents took us on a family vacation to Expo 67 in Montreal. One morning we went to a pancake house for breakfast and I wanted one of the egg dishes which came with strips of bacon.

When I ordered, I asked the waitress if I could substitute Canadian bacon.

She looked at me, puzzled, and responded, "All our bacon is Canadian."
 
A friend and I went to a fast food emporium. He ordered a drink with the direction "light ice".
The response: "We only have regular ice."

Same guy, different time, ordered a chicken sandwich with "minimal lettuce".
The response: "We only have iceburg lettuce"
 
I have a friend who asked me if she had to rewind her DVD before returning it to the rental store. Then she asked, "How do you rewind a DVD?". I told her you had to buy a special device for rewinding them. She thought I was serious. LOL
 
Ragnarok said:
! Tell them "Look Doc, I feel like the backside of a donkey's ass!"
Click to expand...

These are all great stories! But Rags....I gotta pick on ya....here is a pre hug :hug:


Shouldnt the above saying be - "I feel like the backside of a donkey" ??????
I mean, isnt the backside of a donkey indeed his a$$?
What is the backside of the a$$? The a$$ of the a$$?
LOL
 
K-Ma, that's probably a medical term.
 
my cousin had only had her car a few months when the turn signal wouldn't work anymore. so she ask her boyfriend to look at it . he went out (knowing what was wrong) looks at her very seriously and tells her she has to go to the store to buy blinker fluid. she went. LOL

same cousin, couple of years later and same car, different guy. she says it is hard to turn the steering wheel. he goes out and looks. tells her she needs to go get power steering fluid. she looks at him real serious and says I AM NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN. so he went and bought it for her. LOL
 
Kadin'sMama said:
These are all great stories! But Rags....I gotta pick on ya....here is a pre hug :hug:


Shouldnt the above saying be - "I feel like the backside of a donkey" ??????
I mean, isnt the backside of a donkey indeed his a$$?
What is the backside of the a$$? The a$$ of the a$$?
LOL
Click to expand...


Awwwwwwwwwwww you poor thing! Dan is right! It is medical "slang!" And another famous "Island Colloquialism!" When an Islander says "the backside of a donkey's ass" you know things are "plum crackers!" :rofl:
 
Ragnarok said:
Awwwwwwwwwwww you poor thing! Dan is right! It is medical "slang!" And another famous "Island Colloquialism!" When an Islander says "the backside of a donkey's ass" you know things are "plum crackers!" :rofl:
Click to expand...

I think I'll need a book for translating.........
 
The New Yorker (back in the old days, before Tina Brown came in) used to have a feature "filler" item called "Block That Metaphor." I was reminded of that when the chair of a town committee I serve on was discussing a group that was afraid to take part in negotiations. She explained their decision saying:
"They're keeping 10 feet away so the sticky wicket doesn't blow up in their face."
 
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A day does not pass at Cold Stone without being asked the following...

"what does your banana ice cream taste like?"

chocolate...?
 
Rockstar said:
A day does not pass at Cold Stone without being asked the following...

"what does your banana ice cream taste like?"

chocolate...?
Click to expand...

It tastes like CHICKEN!
 
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