Nine Deadlisest Phrases used by Women. Men, please take note

DanC

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Nine Deadlisest Phrases used by Women. Men, please take note

Men, consider this a PSA.

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.
 
*sigh* :lost: Dan, I owe you a big thanks for posting this. That's okay if you want to give away our secrets, don't worry about it, I got it from here. If you come up with any more 'tips' go ahead and post them, it's just fine with me. There is nothing a woman wants more than for her man to understand her and work around her, whatever. Just after your Mrs. hears of your epiphany, I'm sure she'll need five more minutes before she decides what's for dinner. Dan, you've done just fine. :yesnod:
 
Not only that, but I got a 1 star rating!!

WooHoo!!

BTW, well, played, Preco.
 
When a woman uses these terms, this is what a man hears:

1) Fine
Fine

2) Five Minutes
Five Minutes

3) Nothing
Nothing

4) Go Ahead
go Ahead

5) Loud Sigh
She's tired

6) That’s Okay
That's OK

7) Thanks
Thanks

8 ) Whatever
Whatever

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Relax, it's under control
 
Can't find the guys list, but that doesn't surprise me, men say what exactly what they want to say :-0
 
When a woman uses these terms, this is what a man hears:

1) Fine
Fine

2) Five Minutes
Five Minutes

3) Nothing
Nothing

4) Go Ahead
go Ahead

5) Loud Sigh
She's tired

6) That’s Okay
That's OK

7) Thanks
Thanks

8 ) Whatever
Whatever

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Relax, it's under control


Time for an apt with an otologist
 
Why don't you just SAY what you MEAN???
 
Why don't you just SAY what you MEAN???



:doh: We tried that.....you ignored us...so now, we keep you guessing.....:reddy:

We need interests and conversation with comprehension beyond beer/scotch, remotes & sex.....:tongue:
 
Why don't you just SAY what you MEAN???

Because our thoughts change as we analyze the lovely facial expressions you men make while we're talking to you. Eyebrows raising separately, nervous twitching, shifty eyes...etc. etc...so we have to adapt our conversation to fit the moment...and therefore the words don't always synchronize appropriately with our thoughts. Capiche?
 
Women speak from the emotional center of the brain a lot, after all it's two times as big as the one that men have.

If you listen carefully, women's truth comes in opposites: I like this blue dress, next, I don't like this blue dress (No longer like blue).
 
Can't find the guys list, but that doesn't surprise me, men say what exactly what they want to say :-0

Exactly what they want to say...and with such elequence...like please tell me, what does

"grunt, grunt, belch, fart" mean again?
 
Exactly what they want to say...and with such elequence...like please tell me, what does

"grunt, grunt, belch, fart" mean again?

*ahem* that would be "remote, remote, beer/scotch, sex" :doh: :thinking:How long have you been married? :suspicious:
 
Sounds to me like he's talking to himself
 
:doh: We tried that.....you ignored us...so now, we keep you guessing.....:reddy:

We need interests and conversation with comprehension beyond beer/scotch, remotes & sex.....:tongue:

You had me at beer...
 
So when you tell a man he has a very "remote chance of intimacy with you" - would that be considered a strong sexual advance by a woman?? I GET IT NOW!
 
He thinks you're gonna let him push your buttons.
 
sexy-remote-control-costume-822.jpg




oh so not me..... :cry:

:pound:
 
although you know what? I don't understand the placement of the mute button at all! Since when would a man show an interest in using that button?! I'd think the volume increase button would be there! :rofl:
 
I shudder to ask where the rechargable batteries will be inserted......:bolt:

The older the man, the longer it takes to recharge the batteries. :doh:
 
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